Personalizing your
funeral
When planning a personalized funeral, discuss your wishes with your family. It is the only way you will be able to carry out each other's wishes when the time comes. You may of course think of several unique ways to bring the life of the person who has died into the funeral service. If so, please bring them to the funeral director's attention and they will make every effort to see to it that your wishes are met. Funeral directors have seen it all and can offer sensitive advice at this special time. And remember, by having a funeral and reflecting on a life that has been lived, you guarantee that everyone your loved one ever said hello to, will have a chance to say good bye!
Write a letter to the person who has died and express all of the feelings you ever wanted to say, but were afraid to or just never got around to expressing. Seal the letter in an envelope and place it in the casket. Your written thoughts will go with your loved one to his or her final resting place.
Bring in the favorite song of the person who has died on compact disc or cassette and your Funeral Director will play it for you during the visitation and/or funeral service.
Bring in photographs spanning the life of the person who has died and your Funeral Director will incorporate them into a memory board to be present at the visitation and funeral service. These can be photos with family, friends at work, fishing or hunting, golfing, knitting, baking, serious and comical. No photo is in bad taste when it depicts the life of the one you are commemorating.
If your loved one had a hobby of building things or was involved in the arts, crafts or photography, bring some of their works in to be displayed at the funeral home.
If you have favorite scripture readings, let them know what they are and your Funeral Director will see to it that they are incorporated into the service.
If your loved one composed poetry or essays, let your Funeral Director have a copy. Your Funeral Director will reproduce several copies so that people might take it with them from the funeral home or perhaps they could be recited as a part of the remembering ritual of the funeral.
Have a personal friend or family member read the poetry or favourite scripture passage.
In the Catholic church during the presentation of gifts, family members may elect to bring them forward themselves for presentation to the priest. Even the youngest grandchild are honored to act in this capacity.
What may seem very hard to do at the time, but is cherished for years after the funeral, is when family members close the casket instead of the funeral staff. As our mothers always tucked us in at night as children, closing her casket is the last time they can tuck her in. It is a very tender moment for the family to say their last good bye to the physical body.
Eulogize the person who has died during the funeral or visitation. Oftentimes the clergy person did not know the person who has died and since the funeral is intended to recognize a life that has been lived, it is important to recognize that life in a personal way. Who better can do that than someone who knew the person who died on a personal basis.
Place cherished items in the casket like pictures of the grandchildren and other family members, a photo of the family pet, a favorite golf club, a pool stick, a well worn baseball cap, or a religious item. Your Funeral Director welcomes all of them as your way of saying good bye.
